Year Of The Pig

Ever get the feeling your luck's about to change?

That's how I felt when I filled out a raffle ticket in the local supermarket the other day. The cashier told me there were all kinds of prizes I might win: A flat screen TV, microwave,new computer - that kind of thing. Every time I've been in to shop lately I've filled out another ticket. There just aren't that many people living around here, so the chances are pretty good that when they draw the winning ticket on Sunday, they're going to be calling me to come down and collect my prize.

I mean, things have been going a lot more my way lately. The IRS knocked my tax bill down to $69,000 - it's only a matter of time before we get two zeroes taken off of that, and then I can pay up.

But I got a little worried when I went in the supermarche yesterday afternoon. There was a big commotion - a crowd of people gathered around a large cardboard box - so I went over to see what the fuss was about.

Down in the corner of the box, scoffing an apple, was an enormous live pig. It had a pink bow around its neck. Everyone was ooh'ing and aah'ing as the pig made some disgusting noises from the back of its throat.

There was a red-faced man in a cheap suit barking into a cordless microphone nearby, and from what I could gather anyone who has taken the time to fill out a ticket has a very good chance of winning - the pig.

I plan to be out of the house all day Sunday.

Although I did put our address on the tickets. So they know where I live. We may have to move.

But then again, maybe all that's missing from our act is a good gimmick.

Fingers crossed.