Cease To Exist

Yes, I resisted at first. But I've gradually come to enjoy Myspace, even to rely on it. It's an easy place to check in with friends, a handy address to send people to if they want to hear what some of your music sounds like, a simple way to find out who's playing where, what everyone else is up to. I can say hi to that group I did a show with a few months back or reconnect with someone I toured with ten years ago and haven't crossed paths with since. Of course, anyone who uses it knows it can be a complete time-waster, where you sit down to just add a few friends, hear a couple songs and find out what your brother or best friend (or daughter) has been doing, and the next thing you know you're checking to see who Burl Ives has in his list of friends.

Some people are opposed to it because aesthetically you're made to bend to the Myspace format, even though people try to fight that with their own graphics and stuff. And it is ridiculous when you realize that if you have several million people in your extended network then there really isn't anyone out there who isn't your potential friend so what is the point? I know all this but I can't help it, it has become part of my life.

Yesterday, I ceased to exist. My Myspace was deleted, and I still don't know how, or why. My profile, photos and songs, gone. My "friends," a couple thousand strong, gone. All the comments and messages and photos posted and sent to me over the past year or two, gone. The comments I've left for other people, gone.

And now that I'm gone, will anyone even notice I was there in the first place? Is it the Marie Provost thing, where weeks go by and then somebody says, hey, what happened to that Amy what's her name, haven't seen her in a while and they go break down the apartment door and...it's too late. Cause there's so many other friends floating around out there how can we possibly keep track of each other?

And does this mean I have to start over again? Aren't there better things I could be doing with my time? Of course there are, but they wouldn't have the instant gratification of say, checking Myspace and seeing that a death metal band from somewhere near Dresden wants to be my friend. Or that the late Dennis Wilson is "online now."

I should rebuild, I guess. Because just this morning we were talking to a club and when they asked for some music I was about to say "you can listen on Myspace" and I realized that they can't. So I already miss it for practical reasons. And even though I have no idea who half of my Myspace pals were, and surely more than a few of them were just using me to appear more popular, I didn't mind. For a brief moment we made contact, out there.

So, you wanna be my friend?